For years, so the story goes, selling has been a numbers game. Because if you have to interrupt people to tell them your story (your sales message), you have to interrupt a lot of people to find a few who will pay attention long enough to even notice, much less respond.
As Seth Godin points out in a blog post called Strangers and friends today, that’s selling to strangers. Which is no longer the only way to sell. Now you can sell to friends, but …
You need to treat friends differently at every step along the way. First, don’t confuse the moments you’re supporting them or connecting with them with the moments when you are doing business. Second, understand that the most powerful win is when your friends tell their friends about you. This is worth 1000 times more than you talking about yourself.
I can’t begin to express how brilliant I think this point is. So, it doesn’t have to be a numbers game any more; but if you’re going to play the non-numbers game, you have to play by the new (which are really very old, when you think abou it) rules. What do you think? Comments are open.
This can be a very slippery slope indeed. What I think is important is that someone, (Seth) is articulating the clear difference in the relationships, making connections and the art of creating them an entirely new game. I don’t really think it a very old one, as you stated Bob, and so am very interested as to why you think is. Enlighten me!
Deb,
Many things certainly are new, especially about the places and circumstances where we connect with people now; but as far as I can tell the way to make friends today is the same as it has been since the start of time.
“Treat others as you would like be treated yourself.”
I think that sums it up pretty well.
Be well,
Bob
Of course, I understand the simplicity and value of the golden rule, but what perplexes me is the complexity of social networking today, often times with people I have never personally met. If you have only virtually met someone, can you call them a friend? I guess it boils down to what friendship means to each person. For me, doing unto others as I would like them to do to me, is basic human courtesy and doesn’t necessarily make them my friend. Thoughts?
Deb,
I guess I see the process (again an old) that to make friends one must first be a friend. I try to apply that to people when and where I can whether I’ve met the individual in person or only virtually. There are certain depths of friendship that take more time and commitment, but again that’s not a new idea.
Social networking opens the door to connect with people to whom that wouldn’t have been possible in years past. The process of making real friends remains as paradoxically complex and simple as it has ever been.
That’s how I see it. Maybe I’m too simplistic? I don’t know. Like everyone else, I’m just walking on my journey, day by day.
Be well,
Bob
I think I understand where you are coming from. “The process of making real friends remains as paradoxically complex and simple as it has ever been.” Absolutely.
I guess it’s the depth of friendship I am talking about … so now I the word “friend” for me, due to social networking, has become far more expansive and consequently far more challenging if one truly wants to be genuine. It’s entirely possible, as I experience it every day. Just changed.
Thanks for your thoughts on this subject. Like you, Seth’s comments on this subject were stimulating and brilliant.
Too simplistic, you ask. Never. True brilliance is found in the seeds of simplicity. Again, thank you for sharing.
Debbe
Deb,
I agree that the word “friend” has been stretched out of it’s former shape; but that’s only one of many words so stretched in these changing times. For me, I’m trying not to fret too much and just be a friend to as many good people as I can. You are certainly in that number.
Be well,
Bob
Given the myriad of demands placed your time, I truly thank you for giving me some of yours. I really had a need to discuss this with someone who is applying social networking to their vo business.
I guess I was a friend in need.
And clearly, you are a friend indeed.
Have a great weekend!
Debbe
One has to beware of becoming a social networker as the individuals being networked soon tire of the person who has nothing to say and says it everywhere.
To engage people one first needs to be interested and then be interesting. Who would choose http://www.theVObore dot com as their website? Read what you say and see if in your enthusiasm to network your efforts haven’t proved counter-productive.
Philip,
Thank you for adding to the conversation. I quite agree that the person with nothing to say quickly becomes tiresome. That’s true no matter how few or many places nothing is said.
Your formulation “first interested and then interesting” is spot on.
Be well,
Bob